Nothing is ever going to be the same anymore. Life itself is changing, so is everyone I know. What I do know that will remain the same is that I will always feel lonely, no matter where, what or who I am with.
Been feeling kinda listless lately. And terribly terribly alone. I know I can talk to friends, but... I just don't feel like talking.
Friends who are busy with their life, and those who had their hearts stolen... I just feel totally out of place. Not that it's their fault, but they just seem.. happy..
Unlike me...
Oh well, I hope this phase passes soon. Been feeling like a zombie lately, what with a lack of sleep, nightmares and being mindfucked.
Wednesday, 20 August 2008
Tuesday, 19 August 2008
Nightmare...
I had a nightmare yesterday and I woke up feeling nauseous and giddy.
It scared me awake a couple of times throughtout the night and it was just so random.
=(
I'm scared.
Too bad I cant do this...
Sunday, 17 August 2008
The Downside of...
Being Single.
1. Boys being interested in you, and wants to get to know you.
2. Boys being interested in you, and wants to get into your pants.
3. Boys acting weird and blaming you for it.
4. Having no one special to care for and be cared for.
5. Having no intimacy of any kind at all.
-----
Stayed at home the whole day today. Kinda boring but restful. I'll be starting classes tomorrow night and I'm a little scared. Going to go to bed soon, so I will not fall asleep in class.
Framed up my super-emo poster today. Will most probably mount it on the wall soon, maybe next weekend. Also got a Wii last weekend, for free! =)
Dun really feel like saying much, just wanted to update a little to let people know that I am still alive.
-----
I'm starting on another chapter of my life story. Kinda wish he was here with me, but what's done is done. Only thing left to do is to continue writing my story without him as a character anymore.
-----
Have a great week everyone, and enjoy the song of the week.
Build God, Then We'll Talk - Panic at The Disco
Lyrics:
It's these substandard motels on the (lalalalala) corner of 4th and Freemont Street
Appealing, only because they are just that un-appealing
Any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon entering
The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe a just dash of formaldehyde
And the habit of decomposing right before your very (lalalala) eyes
Along with the people inside
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Tonight tenants range from: a lawyer and a virgin
Accessorizing with a rosary tucked inside her lingerie
She's getting a job at the firm come Monday
The Mrs. will stay with the cheating attorney
Moonlighting aside, she really needs his money
Oh, wonderful caricature of intimacy.
Yeah (Yeah)
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
As he said to the Mrs. well only hours before
After he had left, as she was fixing her face in a compact
There was a terrible crash (there was a terrible crash)
Between her and the badge
She spilled her purse and her bag, and held a "purse" of a different kind.
Along with the people inside
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
There are no...
Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses
The shade of the sheets and before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things
Raindrops on roses and the girls in white dresses
And the sleeping with the roaches and the taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
It's sleeping with the roaches and the taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things
Raindrops on roses and the girls in white dresses
And the sleeping with the roaches and the taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things
~
P.S. The Imeem is broken and I can't find a good one. So I'll be posting the youtube concert version of it. Give it a listen, its really really good. Sorry again guys... =)
1. Boys being interested in you, and wants to get to know you.
2. Boys being interested in you, and wants to get into your pants.
3. Boys acting weird and blaming you for it.
4. Having no one special to care for and be cared for.
5. Having no intimacy of any kind at all.
-----
Stayed at home the whole day today. Kinda boring but restful. I'll be starting classes tomorrow night and I'm a little scared. Going to go to bed soon, so I will not fall asleep in class.
Framed up my super-emo poster today. Will most probably mount it on the wall soon, maybe next weekend. Also got a Wii last weekend, for free! =)
Dun really feel like saying much, just wanted to update a little to let people know that I am still alive.
-----
I'm starting on another chapter of my life story. Kinda wish he was here with me, but what's done is done. Only thing left to do is to continue writing my story without him as a character anymore.
-----
Have a great week everyone, and enjoy the song of the week.
Build God, Then We'll Talk - Panic at The Disco
Lyrics:
It's these substandard motels on the (lalalalala) corner of 4th and Freemont Street
Appealing, only because they are just that un-appealing
Any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon entering
The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe a just dash of formaldehyde
And the habit of decomposing right before your very (lalalala) eyes
Along with the people inside
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Tonight tenants range from: a lawyer and a virgin
Accessorizing with a rosary tucked inside her lingerie
She's getting a job at the firm come Monday
The Mrs. will stay with the cheating attorney
Moonlighting aside, she really needs his money
Oh, wonderful caricature of intimacy.
Yeah (Yeah)
And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
As he said to the Mrs. well only hours before
After he had left, as she was fixing her face in a compact
There was a terrible crash (there was a terrible crash)
Between her and the badge
She spilled her purse and her bag, and held a "purse" of a different kind.
Along with the people inside
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
There are no...
Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses
The shade of the sheets and before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things
Raindrops on roses and the girls in white dresses
And the sleeping with the roaches and the taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
It's sleeping with the roaches and the taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things
Raindrops on roses and the girls in white dresses
And the sleeping with the roaches and the taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things
~
P.S. The Imeem is broken and I can't find a good one. So I'll be posting the youtube concert version of it. Give it a listen, its really really good. Sorry again guys... =)
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
I feel like...
Cooking something sometime this week. I dunno what I feel like cooking but I just want to cook something... LoL... I'm weird..
Nothing much has been happening this past few weeks, hence the lack of posts. I will be doing a post about my awesome time at SingFest 2008 soon, since my bro has uploaded the pics already.
School is starting next week, and I have orientation this Friday. I feel kinda scared but extremely excited about it. =)
Went to Ikea over the weekends and will be sorta redocrating the room this weekend. I love shopping, esp grocery and furniture. =P
-----
I've been partying pretty hard this few weeks and I think I gotta tone down a little.
A friend, whom I just met recently, has been acting a bit weird. Every morning after we're done clubbing, he would apologise to me for any inappropriate things he did the night before. The funny thing though is, he's never done anything that has made me wary of him. He said something like:' I've been acting weird ever since I met you...' Is that a good thing or bad thing?
-----
Thats about it for now I guess..
Not really in the mood to blog right now.. Have a good week.
Nothing much has been happening this past few weeks, hence the lack of posts. I will be doing a post about my awesome time at SingFest 2008 soon, since my bro has uploaded the pics already.
School is starting next week, and I have orientation this Friday. I feel kinda scared but extremely excited about it. =)
Went to Ikea over the weekends and will be sorta redocrating the room this weekend. I love shopping, esp grocery and furniture. =P
-----
I've been partying pretty hard this few weeks and I think I gotta tone down a little.
A friend, whom I just met recently, has been acting a bit weird. Every morning after we're done clubbing, he would apologise to me for any inappropriate things he did the night before. The funny thing though is, he's never done anything that has made me wary of him. He said something like:' I've been acting weird ever since I met you...' Is that a good thing or bad thing?
-----
Thats about it for now I guess..
Not really in the mood to blog right now.. Have a good week.
Sunday, 10 August 2008
Updated..
The song of the week.. Jason Mraz is freaking awesome guy.. Kinda cute too, and he's like really really awesome live~! His band is very cool too!
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Thursday, 7 August 2008
I miss you...
My 2 best friends are away for a while..
I miss both of them... =(
Hope they come back soon~!
I miss both of them... =(
Hope they come back soon~!
Monday, 4 August 2008
I'm not missing you...
Had an awesome day today, but I'm way too tired to blog.. Anyways, decided the song of the week today when I was at SingFest 2008..
Stacie Orrico sang this and I cried when I listened carefully to the the lyrics and her singing this song just totally gave me strength and wisdom. It's good to have music in our world because there is always a song written out there to help you go through the good and the bad times, for whatever situations.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
-----
I'm Not Missing You - Stacie Orrico
Oohh
I'm not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go
Hurt again 'cause of my curiousity
Now that it's over
What else could it be
He just had to cheat
I made a promise never to settle why didn't I keep it
'Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating
The fooling around
But I'm not missing you
[chorus:]
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and a hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I've got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you go
But this time it's different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
It's a shame in a way
'Cause I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him
Is he right in front of my face (Oh)
Will my true love ever be
Why would I go on a search again when I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me
I made a promise never to settle why didn't I keep it (Keep it)
'Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating
The fooling around
But I'm not missing you
[chorus:] x2
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and a hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I've got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you go
But this time it's different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
[bridge:]
No I can't be with you 'cause I'm scared
Felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed and the person I could be
Love's good when it's right
Bad when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life
But I'm not missing you
[chorus:]
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me (nah)
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I've got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you go
(I used to hate it oh)
Different
(See the distance)
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
I'm not going through emotions
(Yeah yeah yeah)
Waiting and hoping you call me
(Knocking at my door)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because (It's the best day of my life)
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you go (No no no no)
Different
Feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
You
Ooh
Oh
I'm not missing you
No baby
I'm not missing you
-----
To Mr F, I can tell you that I am slowly not missing him anymore. =) But then if I ever do slip, I hope you will be there to pick me up. Thanks so much for what you have done, I would never have walked such a long way without you. *Hugs*
Stacie Orrico sang this and I cried when I listened carefully to the the lyrics and her singing this song just totally gave me strength and wisdom. It's good to have music in our world because there is always a song written out there to help you go through the good and the bad times, for whatever situations.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
-----
I'm Not Missing You - Stacie Orrico
Oohh
I'm not missing you
Been through just about everything that I could go through
When it comes to relationships
Don't know what I was missing or why I ain't listen
When I told myself that was it
Now here I go
Hurt again 'cause of my curiousity
Now that it's over
What else could it be
He just had to cheat
I made a promise never to settle why didn't I keep it
'Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating
The fooling around
But I'm not missing you
[chorus:]
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and a hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I've got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you go
But this time it's different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
It's a shame in a way
'Cause I feel that I may not ever find the right one for me
Did I leave him
Is he right in front of my face (Oh)
Will my true love ever be
Why would I go on a search again when I know what the end will be
What good is love when it keeps on hurting me
I made a promise never to settle why didn't I keep it (Keep it)
'Cause I hated the heartbreak
Crying and cheating
The fooling around
But I'm not missing you
[chorus:] x2
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and a hoping you call me
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I've got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you go
But this time it's different
I don't even feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
[bridge:]
No I can't be with you 'cause I'm scared
Felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed and the person I could be
Love's good when it's right
Bad when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life
But I'm not missing you
[chorus:]
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me (nah)
I'm not missing you
You might have had me open
But I must be going because I've got life to do
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you go
(I used to hate it oh)
Different
(See the distance)
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
I'm not going through emotions
(Yeah yeah yeah)
Waiting and hoping you call me
(Knocking at my door)
You might have had me open
But I must be going because (It's the best day of my life)
I know I'm usually hanging on
I used to hate to see you go (No no no no)
Different
Feel the distance
I'm not missing
I'm not missing you
You
Ooh
Oh
I'm not missing you
No baby
I'm not missing you
-----
To Mr F, I can tell you that I am slowly not missing him anymore. =) But then if I ever do slip, I hope you will be there to pick me up. Thanks so much for what you have done, I would never have walked such a long way without you. *Hugs*
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