I seriously need to get it off my chest..
For me, most times, it's dislike.
I can't help but feel my mom hates me. Like I'm not hers.
Like because I am a girl, I am useless and therefore less important compared to my brother.
She doesn't encourage me, doesn't give me support. Always putting me down, and making me feel like crap. And when she's in a bad mood, I'm conveniently the one she vents it on.
When I help out at home, she takes it for granted. When I do nothing, she screams at me and says she's not the maid. She's constantly trying to get rid of me from the house because I mess it up, according to her.
I am the only person who helps her out at home. I help to wash the dishes whenever there are some in the sink. I help to vacuum and mop the floor once in a while. I help her when she's cooking. I help cook for the family when she's at work. I am the other person who does more work around the house than the rest of the family.
And I get shit constantly everyday.
Sometimes, I just wanna run away from this house as soon as possible. See if she needs me then, when there's no one around to help her.
GRRRR...
Rant over...
I still feel quite sad though.
I will never ever be like that to my children. I will treat them equally whether they be boy or girl. And I will always be close to them, and say I love them all the time..
hmm parents can be sucky sometimes. Some mums are very old fashioned and basically when they have a daughter they think that she will become their personal slave becasue that is what happened to them. SO they are never grateful and they expect you to slave for them.
ReplyDeleteIve found that it is quite common in also that some parents expect their children to be doctors or at least have a degree in something like science of finance or they will always give you shit.
And funnily enough when you like become rich and famous doing something like lets say baking they will then turn around and tell all their friends how they always supported you and were there for you, even though it was the complete opposite.
We learn a lot fro mour parents. Sometimes it is how to act. But sometimes its how Not to act.
Altohugh it is a sad picture I paint, I will defend them by saying that in some of these cases the parents do love you in their own special way e.g. parents that want you to be a doctor only push you because they want the best for you and dont want you to be poor like them so they are harsh and mean cos they think that will make you work.
Asian parents tend to be like that. My parents always wanted the best for me and when I was living with them, my mum was such a nag!!! I couldn't stand it.
ReplyDeleteMy chores were set from when I was a kid, so cleaning the house wasn't an issue. The chores were split between my sisters and me.
It's all the other little things, like I couldn't do what I want. I had no freedom. There was always a curfew, so dancing until dawn was out of the picture. I can't stay up late, even when I'm at home! I had to be in bed by 8:30pm!
Once I moved out, I realise what a wonderful person my mother is. Our bond now is stronger than when I was living with her. We opened up to each other more and it's because she knows that I'm all grown up. Once you show her how grown up you are, she will change the way she thinks of you.
I was never close to my mum until I moved out. Now I talk to her about everything that's happening in my life.
Moving out did wonders for me and my mum but some friends I know, remained distant from their mum. It's up to you. Sometimes you got to do what you got to do.
My sisters couldn't live with my mum either. She was so old fashioned and did not condone girls staying out late or going out with boys. UGH! We all moved out before we got married.
All of us sisters have a special bond with my mum now. We understand her and she understands us. We all love her very much for being such a great mother to us. We didn't realise it then but how she acted stemmed from the love she have for us.
Maybe you should have a mother/daughter holiday. Perhaps that would help ease the tension?
I know how my mom is most times. Although she can be mean, there are times when she really is showing that she cares in her own way.
ReplyDeleteI do try to be nice to her too. For us both, we're both very quick tempered but we do forget our arguments fairly quickly. But my mom is extremely harsh and cruel with her words when she's in a temper.
But no matter how our relationship is, I know that because I am her daughter, I will always be there for her most times. I will always try to please her, subconsciously. It's like a built-in mechanism in nature. For me at least, because no matter what I do, I will always seek her approval in most of the things I do.
Maybe it's like what they say, there can never be 2 queen bees in a hive. Maybe it's time for me to create my own hive. Hahaha..
HAAH two queen bees in a hive...I like that hahaha.
ReplyDeleteWell, if you can support yourself, why not?
Not yet..
ReplyDeleteMaybe a couple of years more before I get my own hive.. Furthermore, housing in Singapore is CRAZY expensive. Even with the cheapest you have to wait for about 3 years before you get your own pad.