Ever felt..

self doubt? Feeling like there's not much meaning in your life now?

I'm starting to feel like that...

I should be feeling excited about things to come, but I dun.. I am slowly starting to lose interest in certain aspects of my life..

Because of recent events, I'm starting to think maybe I'm never gonna be able to be just me.. Seems I'll always have to wear a mask because the real me is kinda annoying..

It's depressing because you think people like you for who you really are, and then you realise they're just being polite. I seem to have this power to drive people away from me.. My friends, people whom I thought I loved...

Sigh...

I know I should just not think about things like that and pick myself up to move on.. But it seems I keep falling back into this hole and no one seems to be able to help me up.. At least the ones who can't are trying, the ones that can just stands and watch..

I think that's the most painful part.. To have someone whom you trust just standing there and watch while you struggle..

I am thinking too much again.. I'd better go... Have a nice weekend..


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Yes Paul, I know I promised not to be gloomy, and depressed but I can't help it.. I will try to be sunshine maybe when the monsoon season here is over..