Slipping..

I feel like I am slipping... Into a dark abyss.. Not really the bottom, but feeling quite down lately..

I have all these negative feelings bottled up inside me, and I seriously hate it. I can do something about it, but the negativity is just crushing down on me.

I've identified a few of the problems that is contributing to the way I feel, but it just seems to much for me to change in a short time.

For one, I feel like an under-achiever. Seeing all my friends doing well in life, makes me feel very inferior to them. Seeing them so happy in their lives and thoroughly motivated to become better, makes me feel less motivated. I feel like I am stuck in a rut with no future prospects for me. I feel really depressed about it and I know I can do something about it, but the negativity just becomes more over-whelming and makes me have short panic attacks/bursts of emotions and I just cannot handle it.

Another problem I know is, I feel like my whole life, I have been waiting. Waiting for everything to come my way. I hate this situation I am in, and even after waiting, things don't usually go my way.

Sigh, I feel so tired lately. What with the bad dreams plaguing me at night, my inadequecies at almost everything I do. Also, doesn't help that I'm not talking to anyone, because I can't really relate how I am feeling properly into spoken language. So I keep it to myself, make myself feel worst, and I cry. Seems to be the only thing that helps nowadays, it is to cry and not say anything.

I am tired.. Of everything...

What
should
I
do
?

When things happen...

It's always sad when couples are no longer together.. It's even sadder if you know the couple personally.

I have come to realize that people are evil. Sometimes, the most unlikeliest person can do the most evil things to another human being.

Human beings can also do evil things to themselves, and cause self harm.

I guess when someone is feeling down and low, they feel like they are all alone and nothing can help them. But when you hear about people who has gone through worst and lived to tell their story, in hopes of inspiring someone and helping them, it makes you become stronger.

I hope I will continue to be inspired and learn to become stronger.