I could get used to this...

I've been told I'm messy and untidy.

I've been told I snore and drool occasionally when I sleep.

I've been told I take a very long time to get ready.

I've also been told I'm mean at times, and very very PMS-sy.

But despite all these, he puts up with me and still loves me like I'm his angel. =)

I must have done something good to be able to find someone like you, babyee. Thanks for your love, and showing me how to love all over again.

This is dedicated to you, Mr Mathew Yeung.
I love you.



-----

I Could Get Used To This - The Veronicas



Lyrics:

You make me breakfast in bed
When I'm mixed up in my head
You wake me with a kiss
I could get used to this

You think I look the best
When my hair is a mess
I can't believe you exist
I could get used to this

Because I know you're too good to be true
I must have done something good to meet you

'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this

I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this

You love the songs I write
You like the movies I like
There must be some kind of twist
But I could get used to this

You kiss me listen to me when I'm depressed
It doesn't seem to make you like me less

'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this

I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this

If there's a dark side to you I haven't seen it
Every good thing you do feels like you mean it

'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this

I'm feeling it comin' over me
With you it all comes naturally
Lost the reflex to resist
And I could get used to this

'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this

You make me breakfast in bed
When I'm mixed up in my head
You wake me with a kiss
And I could get used to this

-----

Dentist... Yikes~!

Did you know that the last time I visited a dentist was like at least 6 years ago?

I'll be going for an appointment later, to do some checking up. Oh boy! I hope it does not hurt. >.<

Wish me luck! =)

P.S. Now I know why I dun go to the dentist often. I HATE IT! Hurts like hell~!

Lies..

It's kinda funny how lies destroy things. Friendships, relationships or families. Today, a little white lie of mine almost lost me someone who means a lot to me. And because of that, I need to make a choice. Hard as it might be, it's either him or nothing. It should have stopped a long time ago, to prevent anymore grief.

I'm going to work harder now, in everything I do. Especially me and Mathew.

-----

Each Other - Katherine McPhee



Lyrics:
Oh-wow
Yeah, yeah

No more lonely nights to hurt me
No more tears left to spare
No more reasons to be unhappy
You threw them all up in there air

And I don't know how you did it
But you made me a believer
I never thought that love could turn someone into a dreamer
For the first time in my life I don't feel like a need a breather
'Cause everywhere I'm gonna go I wanna know you're gonna be there

I'd give it all up for you (I'd give it all up for you)
Do anything you asked me to (Anything you asked me to)
You're like a pillow I can hold on to
Cause we got each other
We got each other

Now that this has gone away
You left me here without a trace
And now I'm in a brand new place
'Cause we got each other
We got each other, yeah

And some times in the past almost pulled us under
But we got through all that and it made us stronger
Through the good, through the bad
There just ain't another
You're the best thing I have and we got each other

When the harder times confront me
You always show me that you care, yeah
And I believe you are my rescue
When I see you right there
(So when I see you right there)

And I don't know how you did it but you made me a believer (Beliver)
I never thought that love could turn someone into a dreamer (Dreamer)
For the first time in my life I don't feel like a need a breather
'Cause everywhere I'm gonna go I wanna know you're gonna be there

I'd give it all up for you
Do anything you asked me to (Anything you asked me to)
Anything you asked me to
You're like a pillow I can hold on to
'Cause we got each other
Baby we got each other

Now that this has gone away (Now this has gone away)
You left me here without a trace (You left me here without a trace)
And now I'm in a brand new place
'Cause we got each other
We got each other

You are the hand that I reach for
When I don't want to be alone
You are the voice I hear at night
Lets me know I'll be alright

When I need a real good friend
Don't have to look far
You're the best
I'm safe here in your arms
And I know this is where I belong

'Cause I'd give it all up for you
Do anything you asked me to (Anything you asked me to)
You're like a pillow I can hold on to (Hey)
'Cause we got each other
Baby we got each other

Now that this has gone away (It's gone away)
You left me here without a trace (Trace)
And now I'm in a brand new place (I'm in a brand new place)
'Cause we got each other
Baby we got each other

No matter what happens we got each other
Had some times in the past but we got each other
Through the good through the bad we still got each other
Really happy or sad but we got each other

I'd give it all up for you (Oh-oh)
Do anything you asked me to (Oh-oh)
You're like a pillow I can hold on to (Oh-oh)
'Cause we got each other
We got each other (Yeah, yeah)

Now that this has gone away
You left me here without a trace (Hey)
And now I'm in a brand new place
'Cause we got each other
Baby we got each other

And some times in the past almost pulled us under (Oh-oh)
But we got through all that and it made us stronger (Oh-oh)
Through the good, through the bad (Oh-oh)
There just aint another
You're the best thing I have and we got each other...

-----

Moving on..

It's the end of another week already. Funny how fast time flies when you really stop and look at it. It's almost the end of the year. =)

Today was relatively alright and boring. I just realised how much closer my relationship with mom has become. And also the fact that I've become more sensible. Although there are still some flashes of 'immature-ness', I'm doing an alright job of living my life.

I went for my first ever Pilates class yesterday. Whoever said that it was relaxing, LIED! I woke up feeling aches all over, my arms, thighs and the spot where my abs are supposed to be.

It hurts like hell the day after, but I had heaps of fun during the class laughing at myself because I could not maintain my movements and breathing. I was lying down on the mat for like 3/4 of the time and I feel like I ran 2km. But I could feel muscles that I never knew existed on me become sore! Haha. I will be going back for more punishment though, MARK MY WORDS!

-----

Work was the same, and went out with mom and Mikey after for shopping and dinner at Causeway Point. Was fun, but I was really tired (due to lack of sleep and sore body) so did not have as much fun. Also, the fact I have a pus/pimple (also known as 'eye needle' pronounced in Mandarin) irrtating the hell outta my eye pretty much dampened the mood.

Came home and had to worry about Mat cause he did not give me a call or message. All sort of thoughts were running through my mond, and none were pleasant. Le sigh.. Anyways, finally could not stand it anymore, and found his house number and called him. Turns out, the silly boy drank so much, he got sick when he went home and fell into a deep slumber. All that worrying for nothing! *Bleah*

Anyways, feeling a little bit better now, so I'm going to go sleep cause I have work again tomorrow. =P

My twitching eyelid has been bothering me and telling me I need more rest today. Have you ever had a twitching eyelid before? It's actually a very funny feeling. I laugh everytime my eye twitches. Lol... Silly silly Ivy! Time for bed!!

Cyas all, and have a great weekend!

That's what you get..

It's funny how something really minor can ruin your day.

Day started pretty alright. Then it rained. It was ok, cause I love the aftermath of a storm or heavy rain. Everything smells so clean and fresh.

Went to work and met some silly lady who wasted 5 mins of my life trying to argue with me. Ignored that silly woman and then was fine, until something started pissing me off. It's hard to explain but it's sorta like a pet peeve of mine. Finished work and then the resentment and anger just sorta festered even more.

Now it's kinda full-blown and I'm so frustrated, it just makes me wanna cry. I cannot do anything about it, and I can't talk to anyone about it because it is just plain weird.

Bah........ I just wish I could crawl into a hole sometimes and then come out when I'm ready to face the world.

Maybe it's just a bad case of Monday Blues for me. Hell, everyone gets them, why not me? Depressing depressing end to a beautiful day.

-----

Something is wrong with me. I seem to be having bad blood circulation to my head, because my head has been feeling kinda 'heavy', coupled with being nauseous and dizzy. Need to take care of myself.

I also want to lose some weight. Feel so fat and disgusted with myself. But with the mood I'm in, I just dun feel like doing anything. I have that 'eat, grow fat and rot away' attitude now. When I feel angry or sad, I eat. Not sweets, or chocolates but CARBS (think Potatoes, Rice, Noodles, Bread etc). You name it, I'll eat them.

What am I to do?

-----

I have recently been Paramore-d. Lol.. My bro added it into my pc, so I thought why not give em a chance and listen to their songs. But they were too loud for me on the first listen. Then Nura went to the concert, and linked some videos of em. I went to youtube them and wow! They are actually pretty good, esp live! So I had a listen to the full album again, and this is my favourite song.

Hope you guys like it as much as I do. =)

-----

Thats What You Get - Paramore



Lyrics:

No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore
It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score
And why do we like to hurt, so much?

I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities where I was wrong

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa

I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here
Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here
I still try holding onto silly things, I never learn
Oh why, all the possibilities I'm sure you've heard

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating (beating)
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa

Hey, make your way to me, to me
And I'll always be just so inviting
If I ever start to think straight
This heart will start a riot in me
Let's start, start, hey!

Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?

That's what you get when you let your heart win!
Whoa

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa

Now I can't trust myself with anything but this
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa

-----

P.S. I know they are like really young and punkish rock band, and I'm like an old old person. Buy hey, music has no rules, not even age limit! and anyways, I am young at heart! =P

Have a great week ahead!

Contented..

I'm actually very easily pleased. Just taking a few minutes to send me a few smses and I'll be in a good mood for the whole day. Even though I lack sleep, I'll still be happy.

=) Today was a better day compared to yesterday, thanks to some people. (My babyee and Cherryblushy)

Bought some clothes again just now. Lol.. that means no more spending for me this month again.

Did I mention I'll be going for a pedicure this Friday? Pamper pamper time. Hee.

Need to go sleep now. Work tomorrow. =)

Another new day, and 1 day closer to being with my babyee.

P.S. Hope you enjoyed your purchases, Cherry. Hit me with orders when you see anything you like on the website, aite? I'm a member (discounts galore), and that goes for all you shop-aholics out there. My recommendation : PaperGirlsShop

Miserable..

I feel really miserable.

Feeling really lonely and miserable.

I cried, felt a little better but still feeling really down.

What made it worst was the fact someone yelled at me, and left me to it to deal with it alone.

Granted, I wasn't in a very talkative mood and just wanted some care and concern. He decided I was being mopey and just left me.

Now I'm miserable and sad. I feel like talking to someone and borrowing someone's shoulders to cry on. But I just can't make myself do it. Dun feel like burdening people with my sucky mood and problems.

So I'm back to square one, being miserable, alone and tired.

I hate my life.

Crying...

I typed out a post and stared at it for 15 mins.

Then I decided to retype a new one with a happier content. Crying is a good way to release all unhappiness and is actually very therapeutic. I occasionally cry myself to sleep when I'm too tired, or feeling extremely emotional and unloved. After that, I dry my tears and life goes on. =)

-----

I couldn't sleep last night and decided to dig out all my photos that I keep for memories sake. I had a nostalgic moment because a few of them were taken with a friend whom I had a misunderstanding with and was not speaking to. I had actually been thinking about her on and off for a while, wanting to make things up with her and even had a dream about her. But I always had this fear that she would reject me.

Today, I received a message from her. I could not believe my eyes and was very very happy. We asked about each other and even decided to meet up this coming Friday. I've decided when I see her, I'm gonna clear that misunderstanding. =) It's not right to just leave it like that, unsaid
and forgotten.

Anyways, I hope things go smoothly for me this month. Been feeling kinda down since the start of the month, realising I haven't accomplished much and feeling really old and tired. It seems like just not too long ago I turned 21 and now, I'm gonna be 22 soon. Need to pick myself up and decide wat I want soon, cause I'm not young anymore.

-----

I just finished a book by Anchee Min, 'Empress Orchid'. The book was very well written and made me feel really sad. I learnt a lot of things I never knew about China and The Forbidden City. It was an eye-opener for me and it was actually based on the last Empress of China, which makes it even more interesting. The writer wrote it in the view of the Empress herself and followed it according to all the research she did, with the help of historians and records.

I like reading books like that, history has always interest me and one that has a tragic love story is even more appealing especially if it is based on a true person. I guess I'm a sucker for romance and also for the tragic ending. Makes you know that life is not a bed of roses and love never always have a fairytale ending of 'happily ever after'.

Oh well, thats all for tonight I think. Need to try to go to sleep, haven't been feeling well at all today. Nauseous and having a headache is not fun at all.

Good night everyone, hope you have a better week than I do.