Talk talk and more talk...

It's nice to talk to people and get their opinions. 1 situation can be seen and interpreted in many many ways..

Like for example, to 1 friend, I'm attention seeking.. I do agree, to a certain extent only.. I am trying to attract certain person's attention. Another friend said that it could be mistaken for attention seeking-ness and goes on to tell me what's so bad about it..

Oh well, I guess I should stop being that because it's not working.. But it's alright.. =)

As much as things have been bugging me, I've decided to just be cool about things... Now I have to work towards finishing this last term of my studies, before I can start applying for Uni.. Then I can start planning for the future once I've gotten a spot in the desired uni..

I need to start being more optimistic. I need to be more active, socially and physically. Exercise makes me happy and helps me lose the fats I've accumulated. Being lazy makes me sad and when I'm sad, I eat..

I need to start taking care of myself. =) Been popping supplements like they're candy, hoping it will help with the mood swings, overall well-being and helping my metabolism work normally. I think I have to love myself first before I can start loving anyone..

Will be playing less WoW I think, cos it makes me feel lazy and emo... Dunno why but it does... I wanna start taking up swimming.. So many things to do, so little time..

I think I'm rambling... Training was pretty tough.. I can already feel the strain and I can say very proudly, I did not slack today!!! Did everything and I'm happy.. Maybe when I finally get to my ideal weight of 48kg, I will feel more confident about myself.. That's a total of 4 kgs and I will go back to being underweight, but I think I will be happy...

Hmmm... Anyways, I;d better stop now.. Not sure what I'm writing.. Hahaha... Good night everyone.. Have an awesome week..

I can't...

think straight now.. My head hurts... But not as much as my heart hurts... Seriously, I should stop all these things... It's only making my life more complicated than it should..

My existence should be fairly simple, make friends, study, get a good job and that's it... So why then do I have all these complicated feelings going through me?

Sigh.. I think I'm babbling..

I'm feeling scared actually... Of change.. I know change is good sometimes... But it's change in people that scares me.. Change in the situations that scare me...

Because these are things you cannot control, which makes you vulnerable when it happens, and you can't do shit about it.

Like friends for example... You think you know them, and then situations change and suddenly, you feel like you dunno them anymore.. That's how I lost a few friends... Also with relationships, you give your all into it.. Listen to him, give up everything you love for him.. Then situation changes, and he decides he doesn't want you anymore, and you're left alone again...

I hate feeling lonely.. But I feel alone so much... Even when I'm with friends, and I try to blend in, be happy and cheerful... Sometimes, you feel like you dun belong...

Sigh... I'm so so tired.. Can I just go into a dreamless slumber and never awake from it...?

Lol...

I just majorly pissed my dear dear brother off.. By accidentally deleting 50gb worth of animes he downloaded.. HAHAHA...

Oh well, it was accidental, and it can be downloaded again... So wat's the big deal for him to go all emo?

Boys will always be boys..

And in my defense, I was just doing wat he told me to after using the external hard drive.. He gave me a lecture on always deleting all the files I put on after using it, and it was only 1 folder which I left in there.. So after that, I always cleaned everything out..

How was I to know that he transferred his animes into the thing... I used it and then cleaned it out.. Just wat he told me to.. Not my fault I was clueless about it... Granted I should have been more careful but it was 1 something in the morning dammit!

Oh well, seems like I have to avoid him on the weekends then... Lol.. Which means no WoW for me unless I wanna use tat crappy PC which will drive me insane!

Lol.. Have a great weekend everyone!

I feel...

happy... Tired but happy... =) I dunno why but I;ve been laughing and smiling a lot today.. Maybe because I've been hanging out with frineds today... I love all my friends... Heehee..

Was bored at work before and did something I seldom would do.. I took pictures of myself.. The big eyes, close up type self portrait.. Never knew my eyes are so big.. Fully loved the colour of my eyes tho.. =P

Because this is my blog, I'm gonna post one up because I can and because I think I am cute!! And also because I love myself! Haha.. Enjoy the rest of the week~!


XOXO from Foxyspirit!

Hmmm...

I feel really complicated now.. I dunno why, but I just do..

Feeling kinda sick now, mostly due to lack of rest.. So I'll probably just blog tomorrow...

Also, I'm broke.. =(

Need to start to save and plan for the trip end of the year.. There's so many things I wanna do, people I wanna hang out with... Rawr!

Anyways, gonna go off now... I'm looking forward to the weekends so I can have more of these....


Have a great week ahead everyone~!

The Craft of War: Blind

This guy made a really awesome video, and I really love the song by Namie Amuro.. That blood elf rogue looks so hawt..



Hope you like it.. =)

Unbeautiful...

If anyone were to tell me 2 months ago that things would turn out this way, I would never have believed them.

2 months ago, I was happy. I was contentedly satisfied with my life and had someone special. I made new friends and found a few good ones I could rely on among them. I was having fun in class, with my 2 best classmates.

But now, I'm alone and that someone special back then is now no more than a polite hi-bye friend who knows a lot about me and my deepest darkest secrets. I still have those good friends who are still as reliant as ever, and found a few more new ones. 1 of the classmates is starting to annoy me, because I feel like she's constantly picking on me.

What a huge difference someone's life can go through in such a short time.

Sometimes, I wonder why do people try so hard when things are gonna just turn out bad? Hope? Or just for the sake of trying? Sometimes you just reach a point whereby you ask yourself, why bother?

People drift apart, people change and circumstances change. Change is constantly going to happen and nobody can stop it.

I feel like giving up sometimes.. Feel so tired trying and trying when I know it's gonna fail.. Sigh...

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Went out with my cousins today. I'm kinda worried about them and the environment they are in right now. I'm hoping to help them as much as I can. Another reason as to why I'm spending more time with them is maybe because I'm lonely and I feel like I need some companionship. I could probably look for my 2 best friends but 1 is busy rushing her assignments, and the other is having some difficulties in his life right now. So I'd rather not bother them..

These 2 girls are also kinda like the sisters I never got to have. I also hope that they would come to me when they have a problem to discuss before doing anything silly.

Anyways, back to the story, I brought them out for dinner, then shopping after. It was just a nice time to hang out with them and just listen to them talk, bicker and give them comments/advices about certain things. Took some pics today throughout..

Gonna let the pics speak for themselves..


The pot of yummies


Seraphina, making a face


Tabatha, being a waitress.. =P

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After shopping, went to N.Y.D.C for desserts


The Kiddies


=)


Me trying to take a self-pic of all of us...


A proper pic taken by the waiter.. =P


Cookie Monster Mudpie


I like this shot of them.. Hungry hungry hippos!


My apple crumble with vanilla ice-cream and whipped cream.. Satisfied the craving I had for them finally! It was heavenly...

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On our way home, we mucked a bit more...


I like this, too bad it's blurred cause of the zooming.. -.-"

After a few tries...




Finally a nice one!

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Purchases for the week.. =)

All bought today.. =)



Bought over the weekend.. =) Needed it as my main source of entertainment.. Can't get myself to actually update it with songs though.. So it's staying in the box until I find time to do all that's needed...

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Last random pic of the day...


=)

Have a good week..

The end of crunchtime...

Finally... I'm totally done with this term, exams and assignment deadlines~! Wooooooo!!!

Feeling very tired and relieved.. Now to look forward to the last term before I'm finally done to start applying for Uni.. =) Very excited about that prospect..

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Over the weekend, it felt great to be somewhere enjoying myself where there's sun, sea and sand.. =) Went to the beach with a few of my friends plus my cousin, Tabby.. We played dodgeball, 'monkey' and Captain's ball.. Did some suntanning too, and I have really ugly bikini lines which I hope to rectify soon~! Although playing all those is fun, I would prefer to just lie on the mat, and suntan with music playing and a good book to enjoy or a friend to chat with..

While I was there, I got a call from someone asking me if I'm home that afternoon cause apparently, I had a delivery waiting to be sent.. I was really confused and had no idea who would send me anything... So I had a great surprise waiting for me when I got back..

Went to VivoCity for dinner with the gang after washing up and headed home.. All of us were really really tired and burnt.. I'm actually starting to hurt from too much sun which is a first for me.. =( But other than that, was a fun day cause I got to relax, get a tan and spend time with my cuzzie Tabby..


Tabby and I, after washing up.. =)

When I got home, finally saw my surprise and it was so awesome.. Someone sent me a bouquet of flowers.. =) That really made my day because it was such a sweet thing to do too..

Thank you so much~! *hugs* I really really liked the flowers, and the thought that comes with it...


The whole bouquet which came in heaps of my few fave colours...


The card.. =)

So anyways, that's about it for updates this week.. Hope you all have a great one ahead~! Take care of yourselves and families!!

I know..

I'm supposed to be studying, but I can't seem to get my engine to start working... So I'm gonna procrastinate for a bit...

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My cousin is having relationship problems now.. I know she's only 13 but I think it's more of a crush.. I went 'steady' with my 1st crush when I was 14, and I broke it off like 2 weeks later..

When I was younger, I usually bail out of a relationship when the guy starts to get too close, too physical or when I feel like I'm going into the unknown... Whatever happened to that Ivy? Instead of that, I'm now jumping headfirst into the waters without even testing it first.. Maybe that's why I always get hurt..

Sometimes I wonder, is it so hard to find someone who loves you back? Maybe I'm just feeling lonely.. I've been feeling lonely for a while now... Being single have its perks but when you're single for some time and see couples everywhere, it kinda just starts to bug you...

Downside of being single, for me, is having no one special to hold you at night, to talk to about my problems and worries, no one to share my hopes and dreams with..

I used to have someone like that, but it seems he's been avoiding me.. And ignoring me... Ok, maybe ignoring is not such a good word, but it just feels he doesn't have time even to be my friend anymore.. I get that he's Mr Popular, and has a lot going on now.. But still I do miss him sometimes... And his nonchalance hurts more than anything I've ever felt before.. Even getting tattoo-ed was mild compared to hurting inside like this..

In case you're wondering, I'm totally fine.. Not going back into depression or anything... Just my thoughts...

Oh well, feelings are complicated and often hard to understand..

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It has been confirmed that Dakota Fanning is gonna be Jane in the next Twilight movie.. It's gonna be so awesome, considering what an evil vampire Jane is... For those who doesn't know who she is, she's a vampire that belongs to a family of vampires who call themselves the Volturi. They are sorta the law of the vampire world and they dish out punishments and actions for the supposed 'interest' of the vampires. Jane has a special mental ability to torture people in their minds...

It's gonna be so cool and hot~! In case you haven't noticed, she's gonna become a ravishing beauty soon... =)

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Aight, time for me to hit the books.. Wish me luck for tomorrow's test... 2 more days to go before it's the weekends!! I'm going to the BEACH! YAY! Can't wait!!!!

Have a good week!

I've just realised...

As much as I can dish out good advices, when it actually comes down to doing it, I suck at it.. I realize I can be a good friend and lend a listening ear.. =) And the advices I give out sometimes are actually pretty darn good, only if you have the will to do it..

I've been bored and unmotivated at home today to study and I have a test tomorrow.. Yikes... But I know I can do it.. Cause I'm good like that.. Haha..

As for the other things that's been bugging me, I think I'll start to slowly let go and not expect anymore.. Much as I want to control things around me, the only thing that's in control is my life and how I wanna live it.

The only thing I can ever expect so much is from myself..

Also, another thing is that feelings cannot be forced.. =) If it comes it comes.. The worst type of love is the type that will never be reciprocated by the other person. So as sadistic as I am with pain, I'm gonna let myself go from this particular type of pain.. =P It causes nothing but emotional distress and then there'll be no more cheerful me..

I miss the old me.. The one who doesn't care about anything, who doesn't let silly things like these bother me... =) And just have loads of fun and laughs..

So I've decided to just concentrate on being happy..

Whether its being myself or wearing a mask.. As long as the people around me enjoys my company, I'll still be happy...

Anyways, have a great week ahead... Wish me luck for my week of exams~!
*Hugs*

Ever felt..

self doubt? Feeling like there's not much meaning in your life now?

I'm starting to feel like that...

I should be feeling excited about things to come, but I dun.. I am slowly starting to lose interest in certain aspects of my life..

Because of recent events, I'm starting to think maybe I'm never gonna be able to be just me.. Seems I'll always have to wear a mask because the real me is kinda annoying..

It's depressing because you think people like you for who you really are, and then you realise they're just being polite. I seem to have this power to drive people away from me.. My friends, people whom I thought I loved...

Sigh...

I know I should just not think about things like that and pick myself up to move on.. But it seems I keep falling back into this hole and no one seems to be able to help me up.. At least the ones who can't are trying, the ones that can just stands and watch..

I think that's the most painful part.. To have someone whom you trust just standing there and watch while you struggle..

I am thinking too much again.. I'd better go... Have a nice weekend..


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Yes Paul, I know I promised not to be gloomy, and depressed but I can't help it.. I will try to be sunshine maybe when the monsoon season here is over..

Quick Update~!

Heya guys.. Haven't updated in a while, cause I've been terribly busy.. A lot has happened, but it seems pretty insignificant so hence my absence..

Anyways, my air ticket has been confirmed.. I'll be in Sydney 23rd Dec 2009 and will fly back on the 12th Jan 2010.. Will be booking my accomodations maybe in Aug. So much to plan, and I totally need to be saving monies.. Bills are killing me...

So I'll be most probably staying home more often and wow... Haha..

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Will be going to the beach tomorrow.. That will be good, I hope... Let's all pray for good weather..

Also, will be having my exams next week, I know I should be studying but then again, I'm a procrastinator, which isn't always good..

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I had my 1st sparring session the other day and OMG, I got my arse KICKED!!! Lol.. It was really fun though.. Will be doing it again soon, I hope...

Been listening to the radio a lot lately, maybe due to the fact my instructer Alvin always plays the radio during our training... Btw, he is so hot~! Hahaha... Been having heaps of fun at training cause we've been making friends, and they are all really nice people... Good bods too.. Heehee...

Aite, me signing off now...

Hope to update with pictures soon!
Have a great rest of the week~!

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P.S. The radio has been playing really funny ads.. With really funny quotes which I will share with you.. It's basically about relationships and the differences between males and females...

1. Men tell small lies. 'That dress looks great on you.' Women tell big lies. 'Yes, the baby is yours.'

2. Never trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and never dies.

Love..

really makes people do silly things sometimes.. Even though they know it will hurt.. But still, you do it..

Oh well, feelings are complicated.. Either that or I'm just a glutton for heartbreak, hurt and pain..

Have a good week ahead everyone.. =)