I'm beginning to think that all the things happening is due to karma.. I'm generally not a very nice person. I'm only nice if people are nice to me. I can be mean, even a bitch when I'm in that kind of mood. Must have been the things I did, the way I treat people, for karma to kick my arse so hard now. I can think of 1 person whom I was a total bitch to, and to that person, I'm so sorry for everything I did. Maybe you can never forgive me or forget what I did, but from the bottom of my tiny black heart, I'm truly sorry.
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The thought of being alone truly scares me. The emptiness you feel reverberating throughout is unbearable. Maybe that's why the disgustingly foolish part of me is still holding on to this silly farce of a relationship. I'm tired, so very very tired. But I have to keep going on. Because my life is never gonna end, even without anyone in my life.
One thing for sure is, I love life too much to wanna die for someone. =) I'll be honest and say I have entertained thoughts of suicide, but I know I'll never have the guts to do it.
He said he will have an answer for me by tomorrow. I dunno why I'm still waiting for him though.. I'm always doing stupid things when I'm around him. Love makes people stupid. So does hurt. And pain. Oh whatever.. I'm ranting now..
It's almost the weekend now, I hope everyone have a great weekend. =)
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